Aging:
It's Not
Just About Getting Old
by
Rev. Tom Thresher
Do you ever feel like you're getting
older? I do. There is probably good reason for
that: We are all getting older.
How do you feel about getting older?
Most of the folks I talk to aren't too happy about it;
many of us are down right upset about it. Why? Well it
is true that age often brings more aches and pains, but
other than that, why are we concerned about getting
older? I would like to suggest that a major
component of our being upset about aging is the story
we, as individuals and a culture, tell about getting
older.
What story do we inherit from our
culture? The one that I am most aware of is that aging
is a "mistake," a "failure," something to be avoided.
Our media bombards us with the message that those who
are worthy in our culture are young, beautiful, and
rich. When you wait in the check-out line at the store,
how many magazines do you see touting the joys of
getting older, the sex lives of the septuagenarians, or
the wisdom of the aged? Our elders? I haven't seen any.
Death, of course, is closely associated
with aging in our culture, and death is the greatest
taboo we have in this culture. Death is the ultimate
failure. No wonder Christian mythology rejoices in
Jesus' conquering death. Death is the ultimate error,
the great failure. New Age fantasies imagine us living
for 1000 years in the bloom of youth (where all of us
would all live is, of course, not discussed). Since
aging is associated with death we must not look too
closely at aging; we must deny it in our efforts to deny
death.
I would like to suggest a different
story. What if death and aging are not mistakes? If
that which we call God is omnipotent, all-powerful, how
would she allow such colossal mistakes as death and
aging? Isn't it perhaps more likely that our aging and
dying are precisely what we are supposed to do in life?
If Life is living itself through each of us, then aging
and dying are exactly what we are meant to be doing.
It seems to me to be an important change
in perspective to see the mental and bodily changes of
aging as exactly what should be happening to us. If
Life (or God) is living out its fullness through every
life form, doesn't it seem reasonable that it (God or
Life) would want to experience all of the possibilities
completely not just youthfulness, but also a body and
mind that is maturing? Rather than seeing the changes
in our bodies and minds as "decline," perhaps a better
metaphor is "deepening." The things we could do in
youth with strength and force now require reflection, an
entirely different orientation in the world, an
orientation that is not so readily available in youth.
Changes in our bodies and minds demand that we become
conscious in new ways; that we attend to the world
around us in more observant ways.
And
perhaps most importantly, our longer lives and
increasing age offers more of us the opportunity to
awaken than ever before.
Changing our story is not easy. Most of
us have lived with the story of "aging as decline" for
many years. But we can begin to change our stories
quite simply: by telling each other different stories,
by building a local culture in our church that defines
aging differently. Some traditional cultures have told
a very respectful, energizing story of aging for
generations, we can too.
Blessings.........
Tom
